Jokey Smurf

Jokey Smurf was born in the frozen swamplands of northern Canada. Naked and afraid, he was abandoned by his mother and survived on the wide assortment of native berries and insects, except blackberries. Fuck blackberries.

When he finally emerged from the wilderness at the tender age of 35, he tasted butter for the first time and never went back. He now works in a cabinet factory and smokes photo shopped cigarettes like there's no tomorrow. The search for his missing parents is slowly consuming his life and he plays online spreadsheet games to ease the tension.

Things That Jokey Smurf Does Not Understand

  1. How magnets work
  2. Why they put Braille on drive-up ATM machines
  3. How the refrigerator light turns itself off
  4. Where the sun goes at night
  5. How forced memes work
  6. Why aliens speak English on TV
  7. Why towels get wetter as they dry
  8. How fish breathe underwater
  9. How FrostyGoblin is so average
  10. How roundabouts work
  11. Why babies resemble their parents
  12. How to make a sammich
  13. I've forgotten exactly but he definitely doesn't understand it
  14. Why AKB is awesome
  15. Global Warming
  16. Entropy
  17. Much
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